I need you to tell me everything is going to be alright. Tell me that trials can be endured. That overwhelming feelings of sorrow from hardships can be deflated by joy and love. The future looks bright and full of promise. Tell me something good.
Sometimes I am an emotional girl. I think it has something to do with how us girls are made--and I like to blame hormones. I can't help but think of these lyrics from Bjork's song Joga:
Emotional landscapes,
They puzzle me,
Then the riddle gets solved,
And you push me up to this
State of emergency,
How beautiful to be,
State of emergency,Is where I want to be.
I warned you, didn't I? And now I will try to sleep.
beck
P.S. Maggie, Joga reminds me of a bonding moment we had in your car. You are in my blog posts this week!
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5 comments:
i am always afraid to pray to God for humility or for strength or to grow because He usually sends the hardest thing i can imagine in order to help me develop those qualities.
i often ask those close to me to say "it's all going to be fine." and usually just hearing that from someone who loves me is enough for me to believe that everything is going to be fine.
Don't fret too much, Beck, because everything will be alright.
First of all I didn't know you were a Bjork fan. This makes me happy!
It's always hard to see the rainbow at the other end of a stormy day when you are right smack in the middle of something hard, but the sun always shines through those dark clouds. And there is always relief in some way, shape, or form. You WILL be ok because you are loved by so many and especially by your Heavenly Father and He knows all of your aches and pains and deepest desires. On some of my loneliest days, I've had some of the greatest conversations with Him.
Cheer up Butter cup! :)
And one more thing....I used to cry myself to sleep at night because I thought that no righteous, LDS man would ever want to marry someone like me (messed up family life and all) especially after one relationship that literally told me I could never be what he wanted because of where I came from. I felt doomed for loneliness for the rest of my life and feared that my greatest desire would never come to pass in this life. But I continued to pray that someone would come around and love me for me and he finally came and he is better than i could've ever hoped for. I know the Lord knows what you are feeling and you will be blessed for your righteous desires. Don't know why I felt like sharing this, but I hope it lifts your spirits. Love you Becky!
You are both incredible. Thank you for sharing your insights and encouragement.
The irony behind this post is that I had watched Eclipse that night with a bunch of girls. Afterwards we talked about how extreme the teenage emotions are portrayed in the Twilight books and films. And here I was feeling terribly emotional. Though even if we never feel or never have felt emotions to such an extreme, we can still empathize with the portrayal of those emotions in a movie like Twilight or Eclipse, because we have felt something like it. And there are times like Friday night, when the emotions are so high that it becomes a sort of emergency to do something about it.
I kind of feel bad and a little embarrassed when I post something like this in a place where others can read it--like I want attention from it. But JO, you're right; sometimes you just need someone you love to tell you everything will be alright. Just hearing it makes things feel better and more easily endured. I also felt a strong desire to document those strong feelings without giving details on the events. Just for me so I could look back and remember that day.
The beautiful thing about this season is the constant reminders of the Savior and His purpose for coming to earth as a little babe, to experience life as a mortal--just like us. He can truly empathize.
Becks,
I love the Bjork moment and I love that song. I think it will be the theme song to my upcoming state of emergency. And I need to remember that it's where I want to be.
Becks you are amazing and deserve the best!
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